Managing Separation Anxiety

Your child becomes extremely distressed when separated from a parent or carer

Steps

  1. Create a consistent goodbye ritual (same words, same actions every time)
  2. Give them a 'transitional object': a keyring, photo, or bracelet that connects them to you
  3. Practice short separations first and gradually extend the time
  4. Avoid sneaking away. Always say goodbye, even if it's hard
  5. Validate their feelings: 'I know it's scary. I always come back'

What you need

A transitional object, consistent goodbye script, patience

Why it works

Children with Autism and ADHD often experience heightened anxiety because they struggle with predicting what will happen when you're not there. A consistent goodbye ritual and transitional object create predictability and a tangible connection to you even when you're apart.

Age guidance

Most intense between ages 3-7, but can persist into the teenage years for neurodivergent children. Don't dismiss it as something they should have grown out of.

Real-world example

One parent created a goodbye ritual: same words, same hug pattern, same wave from the window. Their child still got upset for the first week, but by week three, the ritual itself became the comfort. The predictability replaced the fear.

Troubleshooting

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