Teaching Flexible Thinking

Your child insists on things being done a certain way and melts down when plans change

Steps

Introduce 'Plan A and Plan B' thinking: always have a backup plan
Use 'What if?' games during calm times: 'What if the shop is closed? What could we do instead?'
Celebrate when they cope with a change: 'You handled that change brilliantly!'
Use visual supports: a 'change card' that signals something is different today
Gradually introduce small, manageable changes into routines

What you need

Plan A/Plan B visual, 'what if' game time, change cards

Why it works

Autistic children rely on predictability to manage anxiety. When things change unexpectedly, it feels like the rules of the world have broken. Teaching Plan B thinking during calm moments builds a cognitive framework for handling change before it happens, reducing the shock when plans inevitably shift.

Age guidance

Most effective from age 5 onwards. Start with very small, manageable changes and build tolerance gradually over months, not weeks.

Real-world example

A family started playing 'what if?' at dinner: 'what if the swimming pool is closed?' Their child initially said 'we'd go home and cry' but after a few weeks started generating alternatives: 'we could go to the park instead.' The game made flexible thinking feel safe and even fun.

Troubleshooting

Rigidity often increases when anxiety is high. Address the anxiety too
Never spring changes on them without warning if you can avoid it
Some rigidity is a coping mechanism. Work WITH it, not against it